


for now, i breathe you

by haziness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Baseball Player Eren Yeager, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, a spontaneous mention of parallel universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29299383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haziness/pseuds/haziness
Summary: With flushed cheeks and excitement coursing through his veins, Armin thinks that he’s never been happier.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Comments: 21
Kudos: 159
Collections: Twitter Eremin Week 2021





	for now, i breathe you

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh so im not sure how i feel about this but! i wanted to share it anyways. i very much like writing canon better, but i really wanted to dabble in a lil alt universe things
> 
>  **warnings for** mention of parental death

It’s hard to say when Armin and Eren became lovers. 

Eren, ever the romantic, says it’s when he first laid eyes on the blond in the sand pit of the playground. He’ll always tell Armin that his six year old self was convinced he saw an angel, gaping at the sight of the boy who was building a multi-structure castle. He’d then say that he was determined to be friends with said angel and had stomped over to the pit with vigor.

Then, of course, he accidentally ruined Armin’s thirty minutes of hard work. Eren had tripped over the border, fell face first into the main castle building, and then winced when he heard Armin’s dismayed cries. 

Turns out, the angel was regularly bullied, and he thought Eren was another one of those meanies who liked to make him sad. He had glared at Eren with so much anger that the brunet couldn’t help but shrink back in cowardice. It took several minutes of Eren apologizing, wiping Armin’s tears away from his face, and promising to help him build a bigger and _better_ sand castle for Armin to finally forgive him. 

That meeting will forever be remembered by them both, but Armin would say that’s when they became best friends, not lovers. He was too caught up in his sorrows to really think anything of Eren at the time, plus he was only six. Armin claims that it was when they were eight and he had just gotten told that he lost his parents. At the news, he bolted out of the house, ignoring his grandfather’s calls and running all the way to his best friend’s home. 

Carla had opened the door with a panicked look on her face, her expression becoming more confused and afraid once she saw the crying boy on her doorstep. She let him in, of course, and pulled out her phone to call Armin’s grandfather. The blond had ran to Eren’s small bedroom, opening the door with so much force it banged against the wall. Eren, who was playing a video game on his DS, jolted, looked at Armin with wide eyes. 

“Armin?” he said, putting down the consol. “What happened?” 

At the question, Armin dropped down onto Eren’s floor, knees bruising against the hardwood. His wails were like screams, the despair of a child who just lost his parents echoing across the one-story house. Eren had quickly gotten up from his bed and wrapped Armin in small arms, holding the inconsolable boy with care. He didn’t ask any questions, just rocked them back and forth like his mom would do when he was sad. Eren stroked Armin’s hair, brushed the sweaty strands away from his forehead. After ten minutes, Armin’s sobs turned into hiccups, and Eren grabbed his shoulders to look the younger in the eye. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said, young eyes scared and watery with fright. 

“Muh-my parents,” Armin croaked, the words thick in his throat, “my mom and dad. T-they’re _gone_.” 

Eren’s eyes widened, shock overtaking his features. His pupils wandered above Armin’s head, to where his mom was standing with her hand over her mouth. At her son's gaze, she nodded.

That night was the worst time of Armin’s life. After his initial breakdown, he spent the next hours in Eren’s bed, curled up with his best friend. And the brunet had stayed with him the entire time, missed his baseball game he had scheduled the next day, and coaxed Armin to eat and drink whenever he could. 

Without Eren, Armin doesn’t know what he would’ve done that day. He would’ve been lost, sad, angry and alone. But with the boy, he coped. With the boy, he still had a reason to keep going. 

That day was the day Armin knew Eren was special to him. In what way, he wouldn’t figure out until he was older. Older meaning fourteen, because of course the two of them always jump into things fast and without care. Well, for Armin, he doesn’t mind a fast pace only if it’s with Eren. They’ve been together since the eighth grade, and now they’re freshmen in college. An impressive feat, really. 

Eren has a reputation for himself on campus: a dedicated hot head. He’s a star member of their school’s baseball team, but he didn’t get there without the embarrassments of failure. Eren was never gifted with natural talent, so he was forced to work his way up in skill. Armin is forever proud of him for not giving up, and he can’t help but brag that he’s been there every step of the way.

Armin, on the other hand, is more academic focused. He’s first in their grade, a profound scholar, and he’s meant to speak at multiple freshmen ceremonies. He doesn’t get involved in much extracurriculars, but he is the manager of the baseball team. Being in that position makes Armin capable of being with Eren in the countless hours he’s meant to be training, which is the reason why he took up the job (don’t tell Coach Levi). It also means he’s capable of seeing Eren in… particularly attractive attire (meaning: sweaty, tight pants, and a jersey that somehow manages to flatter every muscle that he has). 

He’s watching his boyfriend now, mouth open as Eren warms up on the field. The sun is out, making the brunet’s tanned skin gleam with sweat. His hair is in a messy bun, the loose strands stuck to his forehead and the nape of his neck. Eren’s joking around with Jean, his teammate and good friend, and they’re pushing each other around like kids do on the playground. Armin still has his eyes stuck on Eren’s form, eyes trailing from broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and a really, _really,_ nice- 

“Arlert!” the blond jolts, dropping his clipboard on the ground of the pit. He looks up and pales when he sees Coach Levi’s hard gaze. 

“S-sir! I was just-“ 

“I know what you were doing, Arlert,” Levi says, face disgusted, “if you can’t keep it in your pants, or even off your _face_ , then go home and stick your nose back into your books.” 

Armin flushes in embarrassment, apologizing profusely to his coach. God, he can’t believe Eren distracted him so much. He _told_ him he wouldn’t be a good manager, but Eren convinced him to apply for the position so that he wouldn’t have to choose between him and baseball. Selfish, really. And super cruel. How is Armin supposed to focus on his job and studies when Eren is out there looking like _that_. 

When Armin let’s his gaze go back to the field, he sees the green eyes he was just thinking of. They’re amused and snug, lips tilted in a smirk. The bastard most definitely heard Armin get scolded. As discreetly as possible, the blond flips his boyfriend off, glaring at him. In response, Eren presses his tongue to his cheek and does a pumping gesture, which makes Armin snap his head to the side to make sure Coach Levi didn't see the obscenity.

When he sees that he’s safe, he tries to put all his anger into his gaze as he looks at Eren, hoping the brunet will know that he will get a silent treatment after practice. Eren only gives an insufferable smile in return, and Armin huffs. 

_Bastard._

* * *

“Don’t talk to me.” 

“Armin! C’mon, it wasn’t my fault you were looking at me. Why are you blaming me?” 

“Because _you_ made me apply for the manager position because _you_ wanted to be closer with me so _you_ are the reason why I have to see you in that damn _uniform_ every other day! Which mean _you’re_ the reason why I got caught by Coach Levi, and then you did a fucking _blow job_ gesture to me in front of everyone! So it is your fault. Case closed.” 

At that, Eren and everyone that they’re sitting with at the dining hall goes quiet. Jean whistles. 

“Gonna be awhile till you can get your dick wet again, Jaeger.” 

“ _Jean_ ,” Marco scolds, shooting Armin an apologetic look. Armin brushes it off with a wave of his hand. 

“No, he’s right,” Armin looks at Eren, meeting sea-green eyes. “you’re gonna have a dry spell because of how much embarrassment I had to go through today. Have fun getting reacquainted with your right hand.” 

Eren’s face looks agonized. “Armin, baby, _please_. I just thought you’d be a good manager! You’re really organized and you told me you needed more EC’s… it was only natural!” 

“That is true, Armin,” Mikasa says from across from him. He meets her eyes and shoots her a betrayed look. She was supposed to be on _his_ side. She keeps her expression blank. “Plus, you can’t really blame him for… your eyes being distracted. They’re _your_ eyes.” 

Armin huffs. “I hate it when you’re reasonable. Why are you so reasonable?” 

“Because I grew up with two boys who are too controlled by their own emotions,” she responds. Once again, Jean whistles.

“Poor Mikasa,” Sasha says, leaning into the raven-haired, “I can't imagine having to deal with a mini Eren and Armin. Well, mainly Eren.” 

“Hey! I’m a goddamn delight.”

“Sure you are,” Ymir drawls, “when your mouth is kept shut.” 

“Armin! Defend me!” 

“No,” Armin turns away from Eren’s offended, “I’m mad at myself and instead I’m gonna blame you.” 

“Armin,” it’s Historia this time. They really have a large table. “there’s no shame in looking at your boyfriend. It was just unfortunate that Levi caught you in the act.” 

“Yeah!” Connie says, fist coming down onto the table. “Don’t be embarrassed! We’re all super hot here, and Eren is easy on the eyes. You’re allowed to look.” At that, Eren preens, then wilts at Mikasa’s pointed look. 

Armin sighs and lays his head in his arms. “I _know_ , it’s just… I’m used to all my teachers seeing me as only a model student. I hate that Coach Levi saw me being so…” 

“Normal?” Historia asks. Armin nods.

“Armin,” Eren starts, grabbing the blond’s shoulders to forcibly make him meet his eyes. “I have been caught looking at your ass so many times in my life. And yeah, I get embarrassed, but you’re my _boyfriend_. Levi understands that. As long as you don’t do it as often as me, he isn’t gonna think any less than you. Plus, you’re literally the golden boy of our grade. One teacher catching you slacking isn’t gonna change that.” 

“Yeah, but-“ 

“You’re _nineteen_ , Armin,” Mikasa says, reaching a hand over the table to grab Armin’s. “it’s okay to ogle your boyfriend a little. Even if it makes me wanna puke.” 

Armin slumps, the fight quickly draining out of his body. He returns Mikasa’s grip, tightening his fingers in thanks. She gives him a small nod. 

“I guess I was overreacting,” Armin relents, looking at Eren in apology. “Sorry, Eren.” 

The green-eyed gives him a bright smile. “No need. Just… no more dry spell?” 

Armin rolls his eyes, but nods. “Sure. No more dry spell.” 

Eren’s face becomes enveloped in a wide grin, eyes gleaming with mischief. “Great!” he then yanks Armin out of Mikasa’s grip, picking the blond up and throwing him over his shoulder. Armin let’s out a yelp, bracing his hands on the side of Eren’s thighs so his nose doesn’t smash against his lower back. 

“Eren!” Armin protests, hoisting his upper body to look at his table. His friends are laughing, Mikasa burying her face in her hands, Sasha slapping her on the shoulder. Jean looks scandalized, but oddly proud, and Marco is just shaking his head in disappointment. Ymir cat-calls, while Historia shushes her as she looks around the cafeteria. Connie adds to the scene with an embarrassing whistle. Honestly, all of his friends are his worst enemies. Armin doesn’t know why he loves them so much. 

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Armin hisses, hiding his face in the cotton of Eren’s blue shirt. He can feel the eyes of other students on them, some of them laughing and some of them affronted. Armin thinks Hitch, a girl who’s on the cross country team with Mikasa, teasingly shouts expletives at the two of them. 

“I need to make sure you don’t change your mind,” Eren explains, turning a corner to the direction of the dorm he shares with Jean. Armin sighs and lets his body sag, putting all his dead weight onto Eren’s shoulder. It doesn’t slow his lover down in the slightest. 

As Eren crosses the courtyard with Armin on his shoulder, the boy thinks about all his past decisions that led him here. Forgiving Eren for breaking his castle, going to his house for comfort, saying yes to Eren’s cheesy proposal to the eighth grade dance, kissing Eren during a slow song, letting him be his first in an awkward fumble of inexperienced bodies and hesitant limbs, going to college together, becoming the manager of the baseball team. All these events led Armin to be hoisted over Eren’s shoulder like a sandbag, and yet Armin can’t seem to regret any of it. 

Huh. He’s down bad, isn't he. 

* * *

“Do you believe in parallel universes?” 

Armin blearily opens his eyes, staring at the minuscule neon glow of the stars stuck to Eren’s ceiling. He has a hand stroking through his boyfriends hair, Eren’s head laying on his naked chest, tall body curled around Armin’s. His legs are thrown over the blond’s, arm wrapped tightly around his waist. It’s an intimate and cozy position.

As he thinks about Eren’s question, he twirls a strand of Eren’s hair around his finger. He hums. 

“Yeah, I do.”

“Do you think we exist in every single one? Like, we meet the same people, but under different situations? Or do you think we live completely separate lives?”

“I like to think I know you in every possible universe out there. And Mikasa, and our friends. But especially you.”

Armin can feel Eren smile against his pectoral, and the boy shifts his head up so his lips press against Armin’s neck. He shivers at the hot touch of the older’s breath. 

“I like to think that too. There’s no universe I’d want to live in that doesn’t end with us together,” Eren announces, and he braces his arms on either side of Armin’s head so that he’s hovering over the boy, hair creating a curtain around them. “and in every world, I better be able to do this, too.” His voice trails into a whisper as he tilts his head further into Armin’s, until his last word is practically spoken into the blond’s lips. Armin resists raising his head to initiate the kiss. 

After a few agonizing seconds, Eren finally locks his lips with Armin’s, kissing him passionately, lovingly, and with so much vigor that Armin is left breathless. They get lost in each other, wandering hands and loving gestures taking over their entire beings. 

That night, Armin wakes up with a start, tears in his eyes, a sob nearly about to escape his lips. He immediately grasps onto Eren’s hand, trembling as he brings the knuckles up to his mouth and kisses them gently. In the dark, he can barely make out Eren’s face, but he lets out a shaky sigh as he drops his lovers hand to trace his face instead. 

_(Scars on Eren’s face; huge, roaring monsters; the utter feeling of sadness and loss of hope overtaking him. Dead bodies. Dead friends. Eren’s dead gaze as he pulls him up. A strange feeling of detachment and_ loathing _as he looks at his lover. Mikasa crying, Sasha with a bullet in her stomach, Eren breaking down in ugly, mournful laughter._

_Pain. The torture of lost love and lost memories. They wouldn’t get Eren back. They wouldn’t. They’d have to- )_

Armin jolts, feeling a warm hand take his own. Eren’s eyes are open, his palm overlapping Armin’s on his cheeks. He kisses his wrist. 

“You okay?” Eren asks, so gentle. 

( _Harsh words, Armin punching him in the face, on top of him, so much_ anger _flowing through him. How could he? How could he say that? What’s_ wrong _with-)_

“Armin,” Eren says, his hand moving to Armin’s cheek instead. “Stay with me.” 

Armin lets out a shuttery breath, turning his cheek so he can muzzle in Eren’s palm. He closes his eyes tight. 

“I- I think our talk about parallel universes got to me,” Armin says, meek. 

Eren makes a concerned noise. “You had a nightmare about it?” 

“It felt worse,” Armin whispers, “like it was never gonna end. I don’t ever wanna have that dream again.” 

“You won’t,” Eren promises, shifting closer to the blond so that Armin can bury his face into the older’s strong chest. “I’ll protect you from the nightmares.” 

_(You can’t protect me, Armin. You never were able to.)_

Armin nods, pushing the thoughts aside. He focuses his mind on the present, on Eren’s warm body, on the slight sheen sweat on their skin. How they are both naked, which makes cuddling a little odd. How he’s reluctantly aware of the alarm that shines 04:00, meaning he has to wake up in a few hours to help Eren practice for the big game today. How Eren is here, holding him, and isn’t some forlorn stranger who he isn’t able to save anymore. 

As he drifts back to sleep, he can’t help but feel sorry for the Armin in his dream. And yet he can’t help but also feel selfishly grateful. 

_Thank you_ , he thinks to whoever put him on this world, _for letting me have this. Thank you._

* * *

In the stands, Armin is wearing Eren’s jersey. 

It’s one of his old ones from his last season in high school baseball, but it still fits Armin loosely, the blond having to tie the front so it sits nicely on top of his jeans. He also has a hat of their current college’s logo and two stripes painted on his face. Mikasa is in similar attire, lacking the jersey and wearing a black crop top instead. Armin has caught numerous people glancing towards the girl, but Mikasa is currently holding hands with Annie who’s sitting with bored eyes next to her. Together, they're quite the intimidating duo. 

Beside Armin, Sasha is holding two signs: one for Jean and the other for Connie. She has her hair in a loose bun, wearing a white matching top with Mikasa that she most definitely coordinated. Historia took on the responsibility of making a sign for Marco, and Ymir is sitting wide-legged beside her, an arm thrown over the blonde’s narrow shoulders. 

“You think they’re gonna win?” Ymir asks, monotone. “They’re going against kids who Annie and I went to high school with. They’re strong.” 

“Yeah, we know them,” Armin says, wincing at the memory of freshman year when Eren’s team got absolutely _throttled_ by the likes of Reiner and Bertholdt. “we were in the same district as them. Got our asses beat every year except for when we were seniors.” 

“I remember that,” Annie says, speaking for the first time since she arrived with Mikasa, “Jaeger was the talk of the school.” 

Armin straightens in second-hand pride. Mikasa smirks. “Yeah, he kicked ass that game. Didn’t stop talking about it all summer, though.” 

Ymir laughs. “Seems like Eren.” She stays quiet for a bit, then speaks up again: “what made him change his game?”

Armin hums. “I think he and Reiner had talked at camp once, or something. They’ve always been friendly rivals, nothing too serious. Apparently Reiner said something to him that really stuck. He never told me.” 

Ymir doesn’t reply, but Armin knows she was listening. The people in the stands begin to cheer as their team begins to trail out of the dugout. Armin and his friends begin to shout as well, holding up their signs proudly. Armin and Mikasa both have one that they share that’s dedicated to Eren, a blown up picture of him as a child plastered on it. 

“Arlert!” Someone shouts, and Armin looks up in the bleachers behind him to see a red haired man yelling. “Surprised you can make it! You’re usually caught up in your books!” 

“I come to every game!” Armin yells in response. “I’m usually just in the dug-out! Coach let me in the stands this time.” 

“Lucky ass!” Floch hollers. “Best of both worlds, huh?” 

Armin smiles in response instead of replying, turning back to the field instead. He looks over the expanse of it, trying to catch sight of tanned skin and an annoyingly attractive bun. Once he sees Eren, he gives an extra loud shout. The boy has already spotted him, and he looks at Armin and then the board that he’s holding with Mikasa. Armin smiles, smug, when Eren winces with embarrassment. 

“Mission accomplished,” Armin states, proud. Mikasa gives a rare chuckle, one that makes Annie’s expression change into one of endearment. 

As the game goes on, Armin cheers for Eren until his throat becomes raw, jumping from his seat when his lover hits a home run, dropping the sign and throwing his arms in the air. The others laugh at his unexpected display of excitement before joining him in his hollering. 

With flushed cheeks and excitement coursing through his veins, Armin thinks that he’s never been happier. Eren and him are so similar, yet so different at the same time. And yet, they make it work. They make it work so good that Armin can’t imagine a life without Eren by his side, a miserable life where they don’t have their bond, their love. He can't imagine that nightmare becoming a reality, a life of eternal sadness and one where Eren doesn’t smile. Armin doesn’t even want to picture it. And he doesn’t have to. Because right now, everything is perfect, and he’s never felt more in love. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i feel like this was a bit... everywhere? but i had a hard time structuring it for some reason :/ please let me know what you think in the comments! 
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/iwuvkoo) | [cc](http://curiouscat.me/bunscheeks)


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